"And I have one of those very loud, stupid laughs. I mean if I ever sat behind myself in a movie or something, I'd probably lean over and tell myself to please shut up." -J. D. Salinger

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A Night out with David Sedaris

Posted on: Tuesday

Soo remember that time I cried about not being able to get tickets to see David Sedaris? Yeahhh...I managed to get them in the end haha. About two and a half months ago I was told that a hotel in Jackson had bought a bunch of the tickets and was offering a package deal and there were still a couple of tickets left. Seeing as how the event was in November I decided a night out with David would be a perfect gift for Annareigh as an early birthday present. Happy early Birthday Annareigh! (but seriously, can someone please give me these kind of birthday presents?) Can I also just say for the record that I managed to keep this a secret from her for months. Successfully might I add. I don't think you understand how hard that was for me, keeping a secret like that from my own sister? She knows me better than anyone else!
Annareigh: "Why are you ordering those David Sedaris books again?"
Me: ".......because I keep giving those books away and I want them?" (no, but really)

Me: "You're getting sick?! You better be all better by next week!"
Annareigh: "Why? Am I not allowed to be sick?"
Me: ",,,,,,,,because I have to work next week?"

So maybe that all sounds convincing to you, but I'm telling you, this girl knows me. But I managed it (get yo head in the game Annareigh). Anyway, back to David. He. Was. So. Damn. Funny. He covered topics from neck tattoos, how tall Jesus was, to wanting to feed a snapping turtle his tumor. In one instance he talked about making a commercial for a drug with grey haired people happily riding around on bicycles and he asked the audience for recommendations on the drug the commercial should feature. Suggestions like Celebrex and Centrum Silver were thrown out. Pretty standard drugs I suppose.

Then it came time for the book signing. For the last couple of weeks my coworker would ask me what I would say to him when it came time to get my book signed. Huh. Well, I don't know? What do you say to David Fucking Sedaris? I get a chance to talk to him? Whatever I say better be damn good so that he writes about me in his next book! So we're standing in line and I'm kinda freaking out because here is the one author that I desperately wanted to meet and I'm getting my chance and my mind is drawing a fucking blank. Blankblankblankblankblankblank. So we get up there and I blurt out, "I know what drug your commercial should feature!" He looks at me and goes, "And what drug would that be?" "Celexa!" I say. Wait. Did you just say Celexa? Out of all the drugs that you see in a day Celexa is your answer? No wait, lets back up here again. Did you just use your time with David Sedaris to suggest a drug for a hypothetical commercial? Yes, yes you did. David laughs and asks what kind of drug it is to which I reply an antidepressant. He asks me what I do for a living and then proceeds to write in my book. I'm laughing at how stupid I sound when I look down and see that he had just spelled my damn name wrong. "Wait! I can fix that so easy!" he says. And then he pulls out a book of stickers and covers his mistake. He was in the middle of drawing a gun (it really looked like a dick) but then covered that with another sticker so that it would "flow better". He glances up and notices the buttons on Annareighs jacket that she always wears. "Ah! A button lover!" he says. "I like people who wear buttons. I was in Tokyo and bought a bunch of buttons and I have no idea what they say but I like to give them out to people who can appreciate them." So he pulls out a bag of buttons and lets Annareigh pick one out. "I have something for you as well! I find these come in handy sometimes when you really want to be subtle about things." And he pulls out a pack of cards and hands me a card that says "Stop Talking". We talked for a little bit longer but I honestly can't remember what was said because I was in too much of a daze that we were talking to David Sedaris. From what I heard it sounds like Annareigh and I were the only ones David talked to for more than the standard book signature. Cool points for us haha. I'm just glad I finally got to meet David Fucking Sedaris.

2 notes:

Casey Lewis said...

Hi Chelsey! I'd love to talk to you for a story I'm doing about bloggers across the U.S. Do you have an email address I can reach out to you at?

Chelsey Ceja said...

Sure! You can reach me at

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